50 years with a grateful heart. by Zai
The earliest memory I have was when I was 2 years old. It was the Olympics in 1976 when Nadia Comăneci was performing and got several awards. I remember seeing it on TV. It is a clear memory of her performance and I remember her name ever since. Other memories of my youth include growing up in Bajada and how we played a lot. It was a good childhood there. I have memories of the birth of Liling. I remember the house where we rented. I remember the road with burnt rice husks and the Moringa trees with lovely flowers. There are memories of eating icecream, of riding on papa's motorbike through the Bajada tunnel, going to the beach and making balls of sand. There was wonderful smells of freshly cut wood and grass.
I remember the image of Jesus on the wall of our room and His eyes keep following me when we were going to sleep. I remember when papa and mama decided to move to Tagum. How we wanted to bring Zamel’s toy car when we were moving. I imagined pulling that toy car behind Uncle Rudy's truck. It seemed like the logical solution in my young mind then.
The house in Tagum was not finished when we moved in. There were no walls and when it rained, the mist reached where we were sleeping. We had to cover the walls with plastic. We used to climb up on the exposed beams. We used to go to our neighbour and the mother of the house was blind. We used to visit Camarin and see the turtles and monkey. When I was in second grade, Ate Zaida and I had to stay in Davao with Aunty Nene. I had good memories of learning to cook rice without water, of running home with ate Zaida holding the icecream so it wont melt as instructed by the elders.
Then we moved back to Tagum in my third grade. Growing up in Tagum, we knew that we did not have much. We could barely have food on the table. There were times when we had to eat fried fish and stretch it out for the whole week. We learned to be frugal. When mama had money, we would get bread, biscuits and that was a real treat. Then eventually papa had the trucking business and they would buy and sell bananas. In between, to support us going to school, mama would sell whatever she can. She would sell Santol, String beans, banana, jandals from Nang Norie’s. She would wash clothes of Ma'am Madulara. That is where I got to borrow pocket books and it was a real treat for me. I learned to dream of a different life in the books. I was transported to a different world.
Mama would make coal with the coconut shells and I used to help pack it. I grew up seeing her hard work just so we can have food in our table and she can send us to school. We did not celebrate birthdays, we never had cakes, we never had a party.
We did go to Davao City from time to time. And we always went during All Souls Day. We always visited our dearly departed and the Yap clan always gathered during those times.
Even though we did not have new things all the time when the new school year starts, we were happy. We loved going to school. In highschool, we learned to re-work our old notebooks so we can re-use it for the new school year. We used to get five pesos baon and that includes the fare. I used to look at my classmates having their yummy recess and lunch and somehow accepted the difficulties whatever it may be. We finished highschool and I did not want to leave Tagum for my college years. So I enrolled in UM for College and took up Secondary Education. Ate Zaida and I were also lucky since we got a scholarship NSIGP. I enjoyed my college years since I had a great set of friends. In my second year, Ate Zaida gave me the address of AusAid and I wrote them a few times so I can apply for a scholarship. When I finished university, I got the most exciting part of my life and got a scholarship to Australia.
I embarked on one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. Australia opened my eyes to more possibilities. I thoroughly enjoyed my three years in Australia. I knew that this was the kind of life I want for myself. I could not see myself staying in the Philippines. I tried to find ways so I can go back overseas and return to the kind of life I thought is best for me. After finishing my Systems Agriculture degree at University of Western Sydney, I went home and tried to look for jobs so I can apply the course. Before we left Australia, Jens who was our room mate said that we should aim to meet up again in 10 years time again in Australia.
I applied in government and private companies but I was not lucky. After a year of trying , I had to make a decision of applying for a teaching job. I got lucky and got an instructor job in The University of Mindanao Davao City. I taught in the Matina Campus for a year. But my desire to go overseas was always in my mind. My motivation was Jens’s words of meeting up again in Oz in 10 years time. So after one year in UM, I resigned and went to Manila to study the caregiver course since I thought it is another way of going overseas, this time to Canada. It was in Manila where I met Gingging when we stayed with Lolo Nando. I spent 6 months doing the caregiver course. I had to borrow money from Rika so I can finance the schooling and my time in Manila. After finishing, I would have got a Canadian employer given by Ate Shelyn, but unfortunately I communicated with the employer without consulting with Ate Shelyn. It was a big mistake.
After finishing the caregiver course, I was back again in Tagum with no job. So I applied for another teaching role and got accepted at Saint Peter’s College of Toril. It was a few months before joining this school that Steve and I met each other online. I was at the stage of my life when all my friends have settled down and I was still single. When I was in Manila, Gingging introduced the idea of online dating. So I used to go to the internet shops and opened a profile so I can meet my potential partner. My justification was that, if I, an honest person was open to meet someone online, surely there is another person out there who was honest like me and looking for someone to have a loving and real relationship. And it so happened that there was indeed another person who was already in New Zealand. He already had an experience with online relationship, though it was not a good experience, he was still open to the possibilities. When Steve and I met online, I felt that I have found my kindred spirit. We used to communicate very well and it was not a forced communication. I felt that I could tell him anything and everything. After a short time of our long distance relationship, Steve decided to come and see me in Davao. Steve visited Davao in August 2003 and got to meet me and the family. I am so happy that papa got to meet him too. He proposed and we got engaged. We decided that I will come to New Zealand after the school year ends at SPCT.
In 4th April 2004, I embarked on another journey of my life. Mum Antoinette, Dad Peter and Suzie welcomed me in the family. It was all I had ever wanted. I experienced a lot and was given so much blessings here in New Zealand.
This year, Steve and I celebrated 20 years of our lives together. There were ups and downs like normal relationships. We experienced the worst when Steve had a cardiac arrest in September 15, 2019. That was the worst year of our life. It took months for him to recover. But we are just grateful that God gave him a second chance in life. And though Steve feels a lot of aches and pains, I am still clinging and want him to be with us. Life is so fragile and we don't know what will happen. We have family and friends who have already joined the Almighty, so the precious time we have left in the world is to be treasured.
My most painful regret is that we have not been blessed with a child. But it is a pain that I have accepted.
So today on my 50th birthday, I am happy and grateful to God for all the blessings He has given me. I continue to pray that he will shower me the same blessings. He has blessed me with a heart willing to learn and I pray that whatever time is left for me in this world that I will have the same openness to life and experiences.
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